10 Instructive Common App Essay Examples
March 26, 2024
Examples are integral to the learning process in just about every subject. In writing, they鈥檙e particularly important, especially when working with abstract concepts or attempting to master a new genre. Imagine how lost you鈥檇 feel if you had to write a poem without ever reading one, or craft a thesis statement without being shown a few models! Accordingly, it stands to reason that reading Common App essay examples should be an essential part of the college personal statement writing process as well.
However, we鈥檝e noticed that reading Common App essay examples can sometimes hinder more than help, creating self-esteem pitfalls and leading students to unhelpful conclusions about the college application process. It doesn鈥檛 have to be this way, though! When you understand how essays are used in the admissions process as well as the hallmarks of a strong personal essay, you can read Common App essay examples more objectively, noticing their similarities rather than their differences. Ultimately, embracing those similarities is what will allow you to produce your strongest work.
Overview:
- The pitfalls and best practices of reading Common App essay examples
- The purpose of your Common App essay
- Essential elements of strong Common App essays
- How to write your best Common App essay
- 10 Common App essay examples, plus analysis
What are the pitfalls of reading Common App essay examples?
Unlike other novels, short stories, or essays that you read in school, which are almost always written by professional authors, college essays are written by your peers (peers who might even be applying to the same selective institutions that you are). As such, reading Common App essay examples can feel incredibly loaded and cause even the most competent writers to spiral. Here’s why:
- It鈥檚 easy to arrive at inaccurate conclusions. 鈥淚f so-and-so got into Harvard by theming all their essays about chicken soup, then I should do the same!鈥 or 鈥淭his person was accepted to Stanford after writing about their earliest childhood memory, so that must be the way to do it!鈥
- You compare your writing style and life experiences to the examples, falsely concluding that yours can鈥檛 possibly be interesting or good enough. Worse, these conclusions might derail your initial drafts altogether.
- After reading several examples, you decide that you鈥檙e going to 鈥渂reak the mold鈥 of the Common App essay and do something 鈥渦nique.鈥 However, to be quite frank, your chance of presenting admissions officers with something that they鈥檝e never seen before has approximately the same probability as seeing a velociraptor in your backyard. Remember, they read thousands of applications per year. Their objective is not to be surprised but to get to know you.
What are the best practices for reading Common App essay examples?
Before you dive into reading Common App essay examples, consider beginning your journey with personal essays written by professional writers. Their objective is different than yours, sure. However, you can pay close attention to how they craft their stories, how and when they reflect, how they begin, and how they conclude.
Ask yourself: What stayed with me? What did I enjoy? What did I learn about the writer?
The New York Times 鈥溾 section is especially perfect for this assignment, as the essays are typically under 700-800 words. Here are a few to get started with, but browse around (there are hundreds to choose from):
, by Cinthia Ritchie
by Elliot Ackerman
, by Mark Montinaro
What is the purpose of the Common App essay?
Before you proceed any further, it鈥檚 important to understand the Common App essay鈥檚 purpose, which is to add dimension to the rest of your application. As such, your personal statement should:
- Immerse the reader into your world.
- Provide insight into something you value or think is important.
- Allow the reader to connect with you.
In addition to your essay鈥檚 purpose, it鈥檚 also important to understand 1) who your Common App personal statement will be read by and 2) how it will be evaluated.
Who reads my Common App essay?
Although it may feel like your Common App essay gets sucked into a black hole, never to be seen by human eyeballs again, it will be read in full by admissions officers at each college. Remember, admissions officers are real people who want to connect with you (and whose job it is to give due diligence to every part of your application). They鈥檙e not reading your essay to circle wonky sentences with a red pen or find reasons to fast-track your application to the circular file. Instead, they are reading your work with a focus on discovering what kind of student, person, community member, and/or campus contributor you鈥檒l be.
Also, many admissions offices utilize a multi-step holistic decision-making process. The first round of review is typically focused on whether you have sufficient academic preparation and/or potential to succeed as a student. Later rounds鈥攊f your application makes it to that point鈥攁re when admissions officers typically look more closely at subjective elements like teacher recommendations and essays. During this stage, your essay will likely be read several times by several different readers.
That said, know that essays are not deciding factors in admissions decisions. They can be a strong factor, particularly if your application falls in the middle of the pool at any given institution, because they help an admissions committee understand more about you and what qualities or experiences you would bring to campus if admitted. However, your essay alone will not get you admitted to or rejected from any given college.
What are the elements of a strong Common App essay?
A piece of writing鈥檚 purpose will give you essential insight into what elements are most important within that piece of writing. To review, a strong Common App essay:
- Immerses the reader into your world
- Provides insight into something you value or think is important
- Allows the reader to connect with you
鈥hich means that the major elements to focus on are:
- Details
- Reflection
- Positive voice/tone
Reading Common App essay examples with a focus on the above three elements can be a highly effective way to understand the genre, and will also give you the building blocks you need for your own essay.
Before we look at a set of examples, though, let鈥檚 delve a little more deeply into the writing process as well as each of the above three elements.
How do I write a strong Common App essay?
Before you can start writing, you鈥檒l need to choose a topic (or potential topic). When it comes to topics, the way you write about any given topic often outweighs the topic itself. (See exceptions here.) The topic that is often the most successful is one that:
- You feel most excited or inspired to write about
- Allows you to immerse the reader in your world/experiences
- Gives you the opportunity to reflect
Once you鈥檝e chosen a topic:
Determine why this story matters to you.
This question is the big kahuna. Why this story? You don鈥檛 have to know how your essay will unfold or what conclusions you will arrive at, but you should have a sense of why this topic is important to you to explore in the first place. Try jotting it down at the top of your page:
I want to write about how art helped me deal with my mom鈥檚 cancer diagnosis. It matters to me because art is a huge part of who I am. I want colleges to know that my passion for art is something I鈥檓 very serious about.
I鈥檓 planning to write about my ACL tear last year. It made me realize that I no longer want to play soccer competitively. Instead, I want to pursue politics! I think this shows that I鈥檓 able to turn obstacles into opportunities and adapt to change. I want colleges to know that about me.
The 鈥渂ig picture鈥 is important. Let it guide and inform your early outlines and drafts.
Then, add detail.
Once you鈥檝e nailed down why this story matters to you, it鈥檚 time to start thinking about how you want to tell it. You might want to make a list of specific anecdotes, memories, or experiences related to your story and see which one(s) you feel most drawn to. For example:
I want to write about how art helped me deal with my mom鈥檚 cancer diagnosis. It matters to me because art is a huge part of who I am. I want colleges to know that my passion for art is something I鈥檓 very serious about.
Related Stories
- Getting my art box for my birthday
- When my brother scratched his bike and I repainted it
- The first time I went to Art Club
- Working on my art show submission
- Painting mailboxes in my neighborhood
Ultimately, you might incorporate more than one story into your essay, but for now, you鈥檒l just want to choose one to begin with. Close your eyes and pick the first story or image that comes to mind. Start writing it down with the goal of being as specific and descriptive as possible. Ask yourself:
- What did I see, hear, smell, and/or feel?
For example, consider the following three sentences:
- There鈥檚 a stream behind my house.
- A sluggish, polluted stream winds through the woods behind my house.
- A crystal-clear brook gurgles over rocks in my mother鈥檚 garden.
The first sentence doesn鈥檛 provide much detail, right? Consequently, you鈥檒l automatically insert your own images, picturing a stream that you know versus the stream behind my house. My job is to immerse you in my world, though, which means that I need to be more specific.
In contrast, the second and third sentences each describe a very specific stream. Notice how much power I have as the writer to evoke different images and strike a particular tone. Use this to your advantage!
It鈥檚 completely fine if your early drafts include a surplus of details. As you refine your drafts, focus on preserving details that enhance the narrative and removing details that may be distracting.
Now…add reflection.
You鈥檝e written out your story and included lots of detail. Great! Now, you must balance the descriptive, storytelling elements of your essay with an appropriate level of interiority and reflection. To do so, you鈥檒l want to ask yourself:
Where could I reflect on my experience or reveal my thoughts and feelings?
Raise your hand if you鈥檝e heard 鈥淪how, don鈥檛 tell鈥 your whole life. However, did you know that almost every piece of writing incorporates both showing and telling? In personal essays, the balance between both elements is essential. While you should certainly 鈥渟how鈥 readers what your experience was like via the use of details and description, you should also 鈥渢ell鈥 them why it matters. Reflect on your experience鈥攚hat was hard? What did you learn or wonder, think or feel? Which lessons are you taking forward?
In addition to demonstrating how you think and process information, your reflection also gives your reader another opportunity to connect with you on a personal level. We鈥檒l point out specific examples of interiority and reflection in the example essays below, but be on the lookout for where writers use statements like these: 鈥淚 thought鈥︹ 鈥淚 felt鈥︹ 鈥淚 wondered鈥︹ 鈥淚 decided鈥︹ which often signal reflective moments.
Finally, check your tone.
The concept of voice feels nebulous to many writers. Essentially, readers hear your writing voice through what you choose to write about and how you choose to write about it. If you鈥檙e providing specific details as well as an appropriate level of reflection and writing in a style that feels comfortable and natural to you, trust that your voice is shining through, even if it doesn鈥檛 feel that way as you write!
As for tone, we suggest aiming for general positivity. However, positive doesn鈥檛 mean that you have to hype yourself up, slap a shiny bow on an unresolved issue, or arrive at a forced ending. It simply means that your essay should have some sort of upward trajectory and arrive at a hopeful or forward-thinking conclusion.
Let鈥檚 look at three examples of tone:
In the end, my reservoir proposal didn鈥檛 go through. It left me feeling annoyed and depressed. I was mad for a pretty long time about this outcome, but I think I鈥檓 ready to move forward.
This tone feels fairly negative, ending the essay on an unresolved note and potentially causing the reader to wonder: is this writer really ready to move forward?
My proposal made it to the last round, which shows how hard I worked. Making it to the last round was the greatest thing to happen to me鈥攊t made me a stronger person in the long run!
Too much! Too much! Being excessively upbeat and self-congratulatory can send red flags of its own.
In the end, my proposal made it to the last round but didn鈥檛 go through. This was a tough outcome. However, I decided to re-evaluate my motivation and priorities, which helped me overhaul my strategy. After more research, practice, and preparation, I鈥檓 more than ready to try again. Most importantly, I鈥檓 confident I鈥檒l be able to handle future setbacks with grace and tact.
Much improved. While the writer is honest about being disappointed, she also shares how she adjusted and how she鈥檇 like to move forward. There isn鈥檛 a clear resolution per se, but that鈥檚 okay鈥攖here鈥檚 still plenty of positive momentum and a sense of how she鈥檇 handle future challenges.
Okay, I鈥檝e written a draft. How do I make sure it鈥檚 still on track?
Remember that your Common App essay鈥檚 purpose is to:
- Immerse the reader into your world
- Provide insight into something you value or think is important
- Connect with the reader
鈥hich means that you鈥檒l need to focus on the following elements:
- Details
- Reflection
- Voice/tone
Accordingly, after you complete a draft, ask yourself the following:
- Which details immerse the reader in my world? Do I need to add more?
- Did I reflect on my experience or reveal my thoughts?
- What do admissions officers learn about me?
To get into each element more deeply, let鈥檚 dive into our example essays, which we created based on the hundreds of personal statements we’ve read over the years. These ten “students” may be fictional, but the craft lessons and tips we share are 100% genuine. Ready? Let’s go!
Common App Essay Examples
First, Examples #1-6 will highlight where I incorporated detail, reflection, and an overall final takeaway:
- Essay #1: The Painted Mailbox
- Essay #2: Hoard, Reuse, Recycle
- Essay #3: Post-Military Kid
- Essay #4: A Gluten-Free Personal Statement
- Essay #5: Clearing My Dive Mask
- Essay #6: From Soccer to Political Ethics
Next, Examples #7-8 will explain where I could incorporate more detail and/or reflection for a stronger essay:
Finally, Examples #9-10 are early, in-progress drafts accompanied by developmental feedback:
Common App Essay Example #1
On a hot day last summer, my brother ran his bike into the mailbox. He skinned his knee, but was less worried about that and more worried about the chipped paint on his new red bike. Tears welling in his eyes, he rubbed the chip with his finger and even more paint flaked off.
鈥淲ait,鈥 I said. 鈥淲ait here for just one minute.鈥
I had taken my brother outside because my mom was sleeping after a chemo treatment, but I ran upstairs as quickly and quietly as I could to get my box of paints. It鈥檚 a wooden box, smudged with charcoal fingerprints and streaks of acrylics. I hadn鈥檛 always been an artist, but when my art teacher noticed the designs in my notebook margins and asked if I wanted to come to an art club meeting, I decided to try it.
At that first meeting, my teacher taught us how to create a mountain sunrise. As the painting took shape, I marveled at the techniques鈥搖sing my thumbprint to create the sun, crafting shadows with surprising colors, creating different effects by applying varying types of pressure to my brush. I was also surprised that focusing on my piece felt so meditative鈥搃t was the first time since my mom鈥檚 diagnosis that I hadn鈥檛 been preoccupied with whether her treatments would work or what I was going to cook my brother for dinner.
鈥淲hat do you want on your bike?鈥 I asked my brother. 鈥淚nstead of the scratch.鈥 I opened up my box and pointed toward his bike. His eyes widened.
鈥淎nything I want?鈥 he asked.
He chose a baseball bat, and crouched next to me as I painted. When I was done, he said, 鈥淐an you paint a baseball, too? Over here.鈥 He pointed to the other end of the bike.
鈥淚鈥檒l show you how.鈥 I dipped his thumb in white and pressed it on the bike鈥檚 frame, then showed him how to use my thinnest brush to add curved red stitching.
Word spread quickly about my bike designs. My brother鈥檚 friends stopped by the house with pictures of designs that they wanted, and my neighbor鈥檚 little girls shyly approached when I was outside with my brother, asking for butterflies. I started carrying my paints around just in case. The kids always gave me something鈥揳 shiny rock they鈥檇 found, a few quarters, a special feather. It makes me smile when I look out the window and see those bikes pedaling around the neighborhood, my brother鈥檚 among them. It makes my mom smile, too. I asked what she would want painted on her bike if she had one, and she said a sunflower. I painted one on our mailbox, cheery and yellow, its stem curling around the handle and down the post.
There are always new techniques to learn and improvements to strive toward, but I feel that art is about trying to create meaning within a chosen medium. There鈥檚 so much I can鈥檛 control, but what I can do is create beauty in my life and in the lives of others. It鈥檚 why I started teaching an afterschool art class at my brother鈥檚 elementary school, why I鈥檓 currently working on a wall mural in the children鈥檚 room at the library, why I鈥檝e taught myself graphic design skills to create posters for art club events and shows. Also, my mailbox paint creations gained so much popularity that my entire street commissioned me to do their boxes. I donated the money to cancer research, but more importantly, the designs are a beacon of support to my mom each day that she feels strong enough to walk outside and check the mail.
Although college will bring new challenges, I also know it will bring a new collection of scratched-up bikes and bare mailboxes, waiting to be painted with brightly colored designs that allow me to express myself and impact others.
What we can learn from this example:
Let鈥檚 run down our list of questions:
Which details immerse you in this writer’s world?
This essay is loaded with specific details: her brother鈥檚 bike, her art box, her first art club meeting, and her drawings/designs, to name a few. These details help you picture her environment and connect with her experience.
Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
She provides the most significant reflection in the final two paragraphs, where she shares why art is so important to her, how she stays involved, and that she wants to continue using art to engage & connect with others in college. However, she also provides small moments of reflection throughout the essay, such as in paragraph four: 鈥淚 was also surprised that focusing on my piece felt so meditative鈥搃t was the first time since my mom鈥檚 diagnosis that I hadn鈥檛 been preoccupied with whether her treatments would work or what I was going to cook my brother for dinner.鈥 Without that sentence, it might be difficult to understand why art became so important to her.
What will admissions officers learn about her?
She鈥檚 creative, dedicated, and empathetic. She鈥檚 also clearly a leader who takes initiative, both within her family and in her community.
In sum, this writer used details and reflection to help readers understand what she finds important鈥攊n the process, she鈥檚 given her essay a positive tone and clear voice.
Common App Essay Example #2
By some people鈥檚 standards, my grandma might be considered a hoarder. When I say there is stuff everywhere at our house, I mean it: broken crystal glasses from a hundred years ago, old watch straps, a shockingly large collection of thumbtacks. Three coffee makers that haven鈥檛 worked since before I was born. A broom no one uses because it doesn鈥檛 actually sweep anything up.
Whenever I make a motion to throw something out鈥揳n empty spice jar for example, or socks with holes in them, my grandma acts personally insulted. (She has also been known to survey the trash can for offending items.) She鈥檒l take it from me grouchily and remind me of its potential uses鈥搒pice jars can be cinnamon and sugar shakers! Socks are free dusters! Sometimes, though, she doesn鈥檛 have a reason beyond 鈥淚 might need it someday.鈥
At first, I thought this statement was weird. What could we possibly need a cracked Tupperware container for? But then I learned that her attitude stems, in part, from growing up on a rural farm. Everything was repurposed, and it was common to keep things that may not have direct uses, knowing you鈥檇 likely find one at some point or another. For example, a large plastic container with a broken lid could be turned on its side and stuffed with hay for the cat in the winter, or plastic bread bags could be used to pack school lunches. Dried-up markers? Homemade watercolor paint. Egg cartons and dryer lint? Fire starters. Chipped bowl? Bird bath.
Her attitude made me interested in our collective willingness to sentence an item to the trash before finding a reuse for it. We buy cheap clothes knowing they might only last us a year. Single-use plastic still dominates, even though the vast majority of it heads to the landfill instead of being recycled. Old jeans are tossed instead of patched up and used as gardening pants, like my grandma does. The worst part is that we do all this knowing that our planet is undergoing irreversible shifts as a result of climate change. The world we鈥檙e heading toward is a world none of us can possibly be prepared for.
But what if people could be convinced to adopt my grandma鈥檚 mindset? And what would it take to inspire such behavioral changes on a large scale? I started learning about the field of neuroeconomics through books, podcasts, and a summer course at our local college, and became fascinated with the neuroscience behind decision-making. Could principles of neuroeconomics influence environmental policy? What factors could help people make long-lasting, environmentally conscious changes, and how we might facilitate them? These are massive, long-term questions. For now, was there a way to inspire my friends to start being more mindful of their consumption? To start reusing spaghetti jars and dusting with hole-y socks? And what might people be willing to donate or repurpose when there was a community effort to do so?
So, me and my grandma started advertising our services, and the response was unlike anything I could have possibly imagined. We now have a garage full of items that we either donate, sell, or repair, everything from antique dresses that my grandma soaks the stains out of to custom-patched jeans to dressers and wooden toys that need a quick sanding and fresh coat of paint. Our yard sales have become legendary and I鈥檓 the go-to kid when people have an old end table with Buzz Lightyear on it that they don鈥檛 know what to do with. 鈥淒rop it off at my grandma鈥檚,鈥 I say, and they do. Until I can figure out how to effect the kind of large-scale change I鈥檇 like to make, I鈥檒l start small and keep going, hopeful that I鈥檓 making a difference one revitalized sock at a time.
What we can learn from this example:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world?
There鈥檚 the coffeemakers, the broom that doesn鈥檛 sweep, the socks, the jeans, the repairable items鈥e could go on. Since this essay is about this writer鈥檚 interest in sustainability, notice that he exclusively focuses on specific examples of repurposable items. Such a move supports the narrative rather than acting as filler.
Where did he reflect on his experience or reveal his thoughts?
This writer reflects throughout the essay by using 鈥淚鈥 statements (鈥淚 thought鈥︹) and asking direct questions, both of which are powerful ways to let readers in on his thought process鈥攁nd show how it changed.
What will admissions officers learn about him?
This writer is intellectually curious, open-minded, and humorous. It鈥檚 also clear that he鈥檚 passionate about sustainability and the environment, and is committed to exploring new initiatives and possibilities in college.
Common App Essay Example #3
My life has always been punctuated by my father鈥檚 military deployments, like periods placed in the middle of sentences. I often measured time in relation to them: before, during, or after, holding my breath for my father鈥檚 departure or homecoming, for the inevitable extensions and sporadic phone calls, for the unexpected emotions and responsibilities. By the time I was in high school, my father had been gone for more of my childhood than he had been present, and in tenth grade, my parents decided to divorce.
Until then, I had always been surrounded by friends who also had an active duty parent. We didn鈥檛 have to explain to each other what the ups and downs felt like. We just knew. I knew that when Mariela鈥檚 father鈥檚 deployment got extended, she could use a trip to the beach, her favorite place, knew that one of the most painful parts of the whole deployment cycle was the anticipation, and would check in with my friends more frequently during that time, knew that the first week often felt the most discombobulated, and was usually when my mom would offer to drop off meals or help ferry kids to after-school activities. That first week was also the time when things usually went wrong: a burst pipe, a dead car battery, a broken washing machine. Murphy鈥檚 Law, my mom always said.
I had spent my entire life existing within this predictably unpredictable cycle. So, when my mom and I moved right before my junior year to a small condo ten minutes from my grandparents but 2,000 miles away from my father鈥檚 last duty station, I assumed it wouldn鈥檛 be that much different from other moves. I鈥檇 join new clubs, make new friends, get to know our neighbors.
But I was immediately confronted by a sense of otherness in a community of kids who had known each other since kindergarten. Explaining where I鈥檇 lived before鈥揳nd why鈥揺ither solicited shocked reactions 鈥淵ou鈥檝e moved six times?鈥 or prying questions 鈥淲hy didn鈥檛 you stay with your dad?鈥 Mentioning a deployment received a blank stare. I felt like the previous version of me, the way I鈥檇 always thought of myself鈥揳s a military kid鈥搘as no longer true, or had somehow evaporated into thin air.
Then, last spring, I had an unexpected breakthrough. My chemistry lab partner struggled with some of the steps. As I explained them to her, she visibly relaxed and shot me a thankful smile. I grinned too, because in that moment, I felt more like myself than I had in months.
Later that week, I applied for a peer tutoring position and was accepted. I feel passionate about trying to make personal connections with my students so that I can try to understand and anticipate their needs. I notice whether some students like to brainstorm ideas aloud before writing them down, or prefer when I use pictures to explain concepts. Some students appreciate small talk for a few minutes before we get started, and others need to be more efficient, trying to squeeze in a tutoring session before their after-school job. Not only that, but as I got to know my fellow tutors, I found friendship and connection. When Sophia鈥檚 brother was in the hospital, I picked her up for an afternoon movie. On the night of my piano recital, Olivia and Mary were in the front row cheering me on.
I鈥檝e come to understand that my previous identity is still part of me, even though I now live a very different lifestyle than I did several years ago. Sometimes, I still miss being a military kid. But all the lessons I learned from that time in my life鈥搕he importance of a supportive community, empathy, kindness, and anticipating others鈥 needs鈥揳re always with me, informing everything I do.
What we can learn from this college essay example:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world?
Writing about significant challenges is one circumstance where you can choose to be somewhat less descriptive. Notice that the writer contains her challenges in the first half of the essay and only includes need-to-know details. For example, we don鈥檛 need to know the reason for her parents鈥 divorce, or every nitty-gritty deployment detail. She sticks to the facts.
However, she incorporates more specifics into the second half of the essay, including details about particular conversations/comments, her tutoring experience, and her friends.
Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
In an essay about a challenge, reflection is almost always placed toward the end of the essay. You can see that this writer reflected on her experiences in the final few paragraphs, taking time to appreciate where she鈥檚 been and where she鈥檚 going. However, she uses 鈥淚鈥 statements throughout to let us in on what she was thinking and feeling, ex. 鈥淚 assumed it wouldn鈥檛 be much different from other moves鈥︹ 鈥淚 felt like the previous version of me鈥︹
What will admissions officers learn about her?
She鈥檚 resilient and adaptable, which she鈥檚 conveyed through her mature and positive tone. Remember, a positive tone isn鈥檛 forced or fake鈥攊t simply means that your essay has forward momentum or a positive future outlook. At the end of this essay, one has the overall sense that, even though this writer sometimes struggles with her new lifestyle, she鈥檚 ready to take on new challenges. It鈥檚 also clear that she values and prioritizes being part of a community.
Common App Essay Example #4
The scent of crushed garlic permeates the air, mingling with tamari and sesame oil. The nutty smell of brown butter hits my nose next, followed by earthy sage. Something sweet and spicy鈥攕weet potatoes tossed in cinnamon and gochujang.
Most Saturday mornings, the kitchen counter is a mess of ingredients, whisks, and hot pans with my parents shuffling around in the middle, kneading bread or marinating meat. They鈥檙e rarely home for dinner during the week, but Saturdays are when we try our hand at everything from my Italian great-grandmother鈥檚 tomato-stained lasagna recipe to new dishes like bulgogi, potstickers, and garlic naan.
Often, the recipes fail miserably the first time. A few months ago, our naan dough was so sticky that it was difficult to knead and then impossible to flip in the pan. Our raviolis split open when we dropped them in boiling water; our lemon curd always broke. Without fail, though, there was some special trick we were missing. My mom鈥檚 best friend, who gave us the naan recipe, showed us how to oil our hands before kneading the dough and brush the back of each naan with water before dropping it into the pan. The result? Perfectly chewy and easy-to-flip bread. YouTube tutorials fixed our ravioli problem鈥攖urns out we needed to turn down the heat and avoid overloading the pot. (We鈥檙e still figuring out the lemon curd.)
I always write down the adjustments in the margins of our recipe notebook, adjustments that are sometimes happy accidents, like when we successfully thickened a soup with cashews instead of butter or accidentally added cinnamon to a chocolate chip cookie recipe. It made me embrace the mindset that whatever problem we were facing could always be creatively solved.
It was this sense of possibility that helped me navigate new territory last year. After extensive testing and many years of chronic stomach problems and headaches, I was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. I felt both relieved and nervous as I wondered whether our cooking Saturdays would be more difficult. My mom, however, seemed undeterred and immediately started researching gluten-free substitutes and flours. We quickly found that there were an overwhelming number of flour possibilities鈥攖apioca, rice, coconut, almond, oat鈥攁ll combined in various ratios and used for differing purposes.
We decided to test the flours one by one, quickly finding that coconut flour cannot be directly substituted for regular flour, almond flour naturally creates a chewier cookie, and gluten-free flours almost always need more moisture than regular flour. Every time we successfully modified one of our 鈥渙ld鈥 recipes, I felt both energized and encouraged that I didn鈥檛 have to give up foods I loved just because I was gluten-free.
My experiences have made me realize that food inclusivity can be an underrated yet simple way to show kindness to others. After multiple events and birthday parties where I brought my own snacks or avoided the food table, I鈥檝e become more mindful of people鈥檚 food traditions and considerations. For example, one of my Indian friends eats exclusively vegetarian while my Muslim friend doesn鈥檛 eat pork. My cousin has an anaphylactic peanut allergy, and my neighbor recently became vegan for environmental reasons. When they come over to study or hang out, I love the smile I get when they realize they can eat whatever snack or baked good I鈥檝e made (especially if it’s brownies).
In addition to empathy, all those Saturday mornings cooking with my parents鈥攁nd the food knowledge I鈥檝e gained from our friends and family鈥攈ave encouraged my adaptability. Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, I focus on how I can always learn something new if I鈥檓 open-minded enough to do it. Making perfect ravioli might just mean turning down the heat, unsticking my naan might just require a little sprinkle of water, and finding new friends in college might just take a warm plate of nut-free, vegan, gluten-free brownies.
What we can learn from this college essay example:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world?
This writer used quite a few sensory food details and specifics throughout, from what the food tasted and smelled like to details about recipes. As such, the focal point of her essay鈥攆ood鈥攃omes to life for us in a way we can easily envision.
She also grouped her details in threes. When you have a number of potential examples to share鈥攁s this writer did鈥攃onsider embracing the rule of three. Our brains like patterns, and three is typically the sweet spot of effectiveness and memorability. Notice that this writer uses three examples in several areas: the opening paragraph, third paragraph, sixth paragraph, and final paragraph. Limiting yourself to three can be an excellent way to increase your writing鈥檚 power and simultaneously reduce words. Win-win!
Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
This writer reflected in several places, mostly in the second half of the essay. She uses 鈥淚鈥 statements to signal how her thoughts evolved鈥斺淚 felt nervous鈥︹ 鈥淚 wondered鈥︹ 鈥淢y experiences made me realize鈥︹ In addition, she specifically discusses two values that are the most important to her: empathy and adaptability.
What will admissions officers learn about her?
She鈥檚 empathetic, adaptable, and family-oriented. She鈥檚 also perseverant, willing to try new things, and values connection with others.
Common App Essay Example #5
I鈥檝e always been obsessed with the ocean. Bioluminescent plankton. Killer whales. Alien-like creatures that only exist in the abyssal zone, a place less explored than outer space. As a child, I spent summer beach days observing tide pools and writing down what I saw in a notebook. I learned about scientists like Eugenie Clark and Sylvia Earle, fearless crusaders who explored the ocean through scuba diving and deep-sea expeditions. Although many jobs within marine biology don鈥檛 require diving ability, I dreamed of being the type of scientist who boldly investigates underwater caves and cascades down to the bottom of the ocean in a submersible with bizarre and never-before-seen fish flashing past the tiny windows.
Even though the cold waters near our home weren鈥檛 exactly a diving mecca, I didn鈥檛 care. All I wanted to do was learn. I started saving up money to pay for lessons and was so excited when I finally had enough to take an introductory course. The class started out in a pool, and once we mastered a certain set of skills, we鈥檇 be able to do our first open-water dive.
Since I loved the ocean so much, I thought diving would come naturally to me. However, this couldn鈥檛 be further from the truth. I managed to keep up until it came time to work on clearing our masks underwater, which is when you rinse the inside of the mask while you鈥檙e diving rather than have to re-surface every time the glass fogs. However, whenever I loosened my mask to flood it with water, I couldn鈥檛 push away the nagging sense of panic. I kept sucking water up my nose instead of blowing out and would immediately need to surface, choking and gasping.
I tried again. And again. And again. Over and over, the mask clearing went sideways: I鈥檇 press on the seal, tilt my head up, and attempt to blow through my nose, only to inhale instead of exhale or become overwhelmed by the water clouding my vision. After several weeks and little improvement, my instructor sat me down to discuss taking a break.
Honestly, rather than feeling a sense of failure, all I felt was a sense of relief. However, as soon as I got home, that instant relief was replaced by intense disappointment. Diving was my dream, and I couldn鈥檛 let myself give up that easily.
I knew that there must be something mentally preventing me from enjoying diving and being able to complete certain skills. To figure out what that 鈥渟omething鈥 was, I started talking to both beginning and experienced divers on online forums, who were quick to share their own experiences of struggling on their first dives. They emphasized water comfort as well as mindfulness techniques, such as yoga and meditation. Instead of diving, I started heading to the pool multiple days per week, doing laps and getting more comfortable in the water, in addition to taking a yoga class and meditating every morning.
Several months ago, I went back to my diving class with renewed purpose and confidence. I successfully cleared my mask underwater and quickly mastered the next set of skills. And two weeks ago, when I lowered myself beneath the surface of the ocean on my first open-water dive, it was nothing short of magical.
Diving is about more than my childhood dream鈥攊t鈥檚 about my confidence in myself. Although it was a longer journey than I anticipated, I鈥檓 proud of myself for committing to my goal. Rather than allowing myself to believe that my fears can鈥檛 be overcome and that I have to live with limited opportunities, I choose to embrace the belief that having fears鈥攁nd confronting them鈥攚ill only make me a stronger diver and a more resilient scientist.
What we can learn from this college essay example:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world?
In addition to her specific childhood interests, the writer also goes into detail about her scuba diving classes鈥攚hat they were like, what went wrong (particularly in regard to mask-clearing), and what she did to overcome her fears. For example, in the sixth paragraph, she gives us detailed specifics about the actions she took: 鈥淚nstead of diving, I started heading to the pool multiple days per week, doing laps and getting more comfortable in the water, in addition to taking a yoga class and meditating every morning.鈥 Imagine how much less effective that paragraph might be if she instead wrote 鈥淚 decided to try out some of their suggestions, and they worked.鈥
Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
If you鈥檙e writing an essay about a particular failure or struggle, think about why it felt so significant, and be sure to incorporate that 鈥渨hy鈥 into your essay. This writer does so in the final paragraph, where she discusses why overcoming her diving-related obstacles was such a significant step for her.
What will admissions officers learn about her?
They鈥檒l learn that she has grit, perseverance, resilience, and self-awareness. She鈥檚 willing to fail and try again. Not only that, she鈥檚 willing to reflect on her experience and use what she learned to continue growing.
Common App Essay Example #6
It happened quickly. One minute, I was wide open, waiting to catch a throw during my family鈥檚 annual Thanksgiving football game. The next minute, I was being tackled to the ground by my cousin and felt something pop.
At first, I thought the pop was something benign. Air cracking through a joint, maybe. I rolled over to stand up, but my right leg gave out beneath me as soon as I tried to put weight on it. My cousin helped me limp inside and my mom piled frozen corn bags on my knee. Within an hour, it had swelled to the size of baseball and I was in too much pain to move.
Several specialists and an MRI later, I was diagnosed with an ACL tear and scheduled for surgery. This news would have been difficult enough without the fear that now ballooned in my mind: what about soccer?
I鈥檇 been a competitive soccer player since I was three, and I loved the game. Actually, I didn鈥檛 just love it, I lived and breathed for it. Singularly focused on my dream of becoming a professional athlete, I dedicated multiple hours per week to improving my skills on and off the field.
But the ACL tear changed everything. It would be at least nine months before I could play soccer again, and I was terrified about what that would mean. Would I now be passed over during the college recruiting process? Was this the beginning of the end?
I felt sorry for myself for several weeks before deciding that I had a choice in how the next steps played out. College soccer or no college soccer, my team now was important to me. While I was recovering at home, I convinced my coach to send me videos of soccer practices so I could stay up to date on our team鈥檚 strategy, and I was disciplined about physical therapy as soon as I could after the surgery.
However, I also started pouring my extra time into an unexpected place: history. I鈥檇 always been interested in the Cold War, and had listened to a few podcasts about it, but digging in even further made me obsessed with McCarthyism as well as the psychological manipulation that occurred at various levels of government during that time. I wondered: how does peer pressure influence adults, particularly at the highest levels of government? How do people perceive threats to their political survival? Is it possible for politicians to sacrifice themselves on the altar of their morals, or is it more likely that they鈥檒l always act in their own best interests? I could even see these same questions playing out in the political landscape today.
When I went back to school post-surgery, a new ritual began: before hobbling over to the field to watch my team鈥檚 soccer practice, I鈥檇 be in my AP History teacher鈥檚 classroom, picking his brain about whatever topic had claimed my attention that week. He ultimately recommended me for a summer program at a local college that investigated political ethics, where I found a group of friends who shared my interests. To this day, we鈥檙e constantly sharing political articles in our group text and discussing them together spiritedly.
Giving myself the space to go in new directions, and to learn more about who I am now, changed everything. I realized I had never challenged my dream of being a professional soccer player, never asked myself if that was what I really wanted until I had to. I鈥檒l always love soccer, and always bring my all to any field I鈥檓 on. But I love other things, too, and I now am looking for a space where I can be curious, ask new questions, and push what I think I know in new ways. Where will my current interests lead me? I can鈥檛 wait to find out.
What we can learn from this college essay example:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world?
For starters, this writer provides a solid level of detail about the injury itself. Rather than saying 鈥淚 tore my ACL playing football鈥 he gives us some context and detail about where he was, who he was playing with, and what happened. It might seem small, but these details allow us to envision his experience. In the second half of the essay, he also provides specifics about his political interests, including his current questions and curiosities.
Moreover, his essay includes a number of small details that alert us to his drive and dedication. For example, in the eighth paragraph, he could have said, 鈥溾 new ritual began: I stopped in to see my AP History teacher before soccer practice.鈥 Instead, he wrote: 鈥溾赌.a new ritual began: before hobbling over to the field to watch my team鈥檚 soccer practice, I鈥檇 be in my AP History teacher鈥檚 classroom鈥.鈥 His language communicates that it was difficult for him to get to both places, even though he doesn鈥檛 expressly tell us that.
Where did he reflect on his experience or reveal his thoughts?
This writer reflects at the beginning and end of the essay. In the first few paragraphs, he shares what he was thinking and feeling during the aftermath of the ACL tear, which helps us empathize with his situation and understand why it felt so significant. In the final paragraph, he then arrives at some conclusions about the 鈥渂ig picture鈥 and where he plans to go from here.
What will admissions officers learn about him?
You may have heard the advice to avoid writing about sports or sports injuries in your college essay, but we鈥檝e seen many students write powerful essays about sports when they lean deeply into how the event or injury affected them on a personal level. This writer did just that, using his injury to demonstrate his resilience, ability to overcome challenges, and willingness to challenge his beliefs. In addition, by asking open-ended questions, he also showcases his intellectual passions/curiosities.
Okay, time to put our skills to the test! The following two essays could use some additional tweaking. Let鈥檚 figure out where:
Common App Essay Example #7
Beep. As the cashier passes each item over the scanner, she rolls it in my direction, where I have a growing collection of produce, soup cans, and chip bags. Beep. I sort through the heap, automatically stacking cans and moving eggs and bread to the side. Beep.
鈥淧aper, plastic, or reusable?鈥 I ask.
I started my job as a grocery bagger last summer, and at first, it seemed like it would be easy money. However, on my first day, I quickly learned that bagging groceries was part art, part science.
How hard could this be? I assumed the goal should be to load each bag with as many items as possible, and so placed three jars of spaghetti sauce, canned vegetables, and a half-gallon of milk in one bag, confident that I was being efficient.
Wrong. So, so wrong.
As soon as I lifted the bag toward the cart, the handles ripped off and the entire thing crashed to the floor. The cans rolled in multiple directions; the milk skidded across the tiles in what seemed like slow motion.
No spills. Phew.
I breathed a sigh of relief about those glass jars of sauce鈥ntil I picked up the bag. The inside was now a crime scene of tomatoes and broken glass. The cashier rolled her eyes at me and other customers stopped to crane their necks and see what was happening. I wanted to disappear.
鈥淗ey, kid.鈥 An older man limped over to where I was standing and took the bag from my hands. 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 you go grab this lady some new sauce?鈥
I scurried off to the spaghetti sauce aisle, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. How could I have messed up something as simple as bagging groceries?
I got the sauce and went back. Gerry鈥攁s I would soon come to know him鈥攚as standing at my bagging station, patiently sorting the customer鈥檚 pile of food. When he saw me, he gestured me over.
鈥淣ow,鈥 he said. 鈥淗ere鈥檚 what you do. Cans on the bottom, around the outside, see? But only a couple.鈥 He watched me load some in. 鈥淣o, no, that鈥檚 too many.鈥 He took one out. 鈥淵ou should be able to easily lift it, see?鈥 He picked up the bag with one hand.
鈥淐ans around the outside. Good. Now glass in the middle. Take one of these鈥斺 he took a spaghetti sauce jar out of my hands and deposited it snugly between the cans. 鈥淕ood. Now, what else we got? Put the boxes and crushable items on top鈥攍ook, she鈥檚 got granola bars, popcorn. Yep, just like that.鈥
Gerry supervised me for the rest of the week, teaching me how to handle all kinds of bagging conundrums, like fresh meat (put it in a separate bag); cleaning supplies (don鈥檛 put them with the food, in case they leak); recently-misted produce (put another plastic bag over it to keep it from getting the rest of the groceries wet); and eggs (either on top of a mid-weight bag or at the bottom of a light bag. Oh, and tell the customer which bag the eggs are in!).
I鈥檝e quickly learned our customers鈥 bagging preferences, and cashiers now often request me as their bagger. I鈥檝e also learned that these interactions mean a lot to people, as properly bagged groceries make it easier for people to transport their food home efficiently and in one piece. Most importantly, Gerry taught me that nothing is more essential than your willingness to learn and do your best, no matter what job you find yourself doing.
Gerry retired last month, but I think of him whenever I鈥檓 training a new bagger or navigating ripped-bag catastrophes. And when I see a jar of spaghetti sauce coming down the conveyor belt, I can鈥檛 help but grin as I place it safely between a few cans.
How this writer could improve his essay:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world? Do they need to add more?
This writer is doing great with details, making use of imagery to bring us into the narrative. We can clearly envision the groceries coming down the conveyor belt, the cans and jars being packed into bags, and even the writer鈥檚 horror at the bags ripping!
Where did he reflect on his experience or reveal his thoughts?
There is some reflection at the end of the essay, when the writer tells us what he鈥檚 learned. However, we鈥檇 love to see this writer do a little more digging. It鈥檚 clear that he learned some significant life lessons from Gerry that he鈥檚 tried to apply at work and beyond. However, the reflection feels a bit rushed. To strengthen, this writer might consider expanding on how he鈥檚 applied the lessons he鈥檚 learned as well as what he鈥檚 specifically discovered about himself or others in the process of doing so.
What will admissions officers learn about him?
He鈥檚 willing to learn, is dependable and dedicated, and is committed to mastering new skills. If he could spend a little more time focusing on why his newfound life lessons felt so significant and how he applied them, it would help give admissions officers a better sense of him as both a person and a prospective member of their community.
Common App Essay Example #8
I needed a four-letter word for 鈥渁ngry鈥 that started with R, a type of eagle most commonly found in the Western United States, and a movie from the 1980s that featured characters named Allison, Brian, and Claire. I tapped my pencil on the side of my father鈥檚 hospital bed and then tried a few possibilities. 鈥淩ude鈥? No, the second letter needed to be A. 鈥淩ash鈥?
With my father on dialysis, my mother and I spent hours with him at the treatment center. Several days a week, I鈥檇 go straight there after school and do my homework in his room. Once, when I arrived, he had a small crossword puzzle book sitting on the bed and handed it to me with a weak smile.
He fell asleep halfway through the first one, but in the chaos and noise of beeping machines and nurses filtering in and out, and of my brain working overtime wondering how much the treatments would help, the crosswords were a simple yet challenging way to keep me busy. I鈥檇 often solve as many clues as I could and then save a few for when he woke up, particularly ones about bands from the 80s, old actors and TV shows, or comic book characters.
The crosswords soon infiltrated every area of my life. I鈥檇 work on one on the bus on the way to the hospital, between classes, while I was eating lunch. At first, my friends eyed me strangely, but they caught on to the addictiveness soon enough. There would usually be a group of us crowded around a half-solved puzzle at lunch, shouting out answers and penciling in possibilities.
Unexpectedly, crosswords also became a way to learn more about people I loved. A 鈥淒ubai鈥 answer led one of my friends to excitedly share that she had been born there. Another friend enjoyed strategizing which section to attempt first. And I also noticed that my dad had an endless knowledge of politics, recalling past presidential candidates with ease. When I asked him how he could remember all of that, it led to stories about his younger days, doing door-to-door campaigning for local candidates. I was surprised because we鈥檙e both introverts, and I would feel so nervous to knock on doors. I asked him if anyone ever got upset about his political beliefs.
He took a minute to answer. 鈥淚n my experience,鈥 he said slowly. 鈥淚f someone was upset, it meant that they cared. And if they cared, it meant we had something in common.鈥
After that conversation, I realized I should be pushing myself past what I thought I was capable of, both in and outside of my puzzles. I now try to take risks that I wouldn鈥檛 have taken otherwise, talk to people who I may not have tried to be friends with, and sign myself up for new experiences. In all of these situations, I do my best to learn about other people, just like my father did. It鈥檚 my goal to continue doing that in college.
How this writer could improve her essay:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world? Do they need to add more?
This writer has already included a number of excellent details鈥攕pecific crossword puzzle clues, the struggle of commuting back and forth to her father鈥檚 treatments, etc. She also helps us envision her lunchtime crossword gatherings as well as the new connections she began to make with her friends. However, she could add more details in the final paragraph鈥攚hat risks has she tried to take? What new experiences has she taken on?
Where did she reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
In this essay, notice that one reflection organically leads to another. In paragraph five, the writer tells us that crosswords helped her learn more about people she loved, which leads to additional insights about taking risks and pushing herself outside her comfort zone. However, these realizations don鈥檛 quite feel connected yet.
As such, this writer might elect to dig a little deeper into why it鈥檚 important to her to learn more about others and take risks. Outside of crossword puzzles, what specific examples can she share? In the process, she might uncover new connections.
Alternatively, she might decide that she wants to focus on one particular direction. Currently, she discusses her relationship with her friends as well as her father. However, she might decide that she wanted to write exclusively about how her deepened connection with her father inspired her to change and broaden her perspective.
What will admissions officers learn about her?
They鈥檒l learn that she鈥檚 intellectual, likes to challenge herself, and appreciates connection. However, as noted in the previous section, her essay is just starting to connect the dots between experiences and insights. Accordingly, this writer would do well to think about what she would like admissions officers to know and then structure her content more intuitively around that goal.
You鈥檙e basically a Common App essay expert now, so let鈥檚 switch gears and look at two early-stage freewrites. To strengthen their work, what could these students do next?
Common App Essay Example #9
Last summer, I worked as a camp counselor, and by the last week, I could navigate multiple issues with ease. Between lost shoes, runny noses, and separation anxiety, I felt like I could handle anything that came my way. It hadn鈥檛 always been like this, though.
When I first started working as a summer camp counselor, I thought my main objective was to make sure that the campers were always having a positive experience. 鈥淒on鈥檛 cry!鈥 I would say. 鈥淵our mom will be back to pick you up later!鈥 Or 鈥淲hy are you sad? We鈥檙e going to have so much fun today!鈥 But it rarely helped. Sometimes, my advice would only make the kids more upset. Other times, they would look at me accusingly as if I couldn鈥檛 possibly have any idea what they were experiencing. I struggled with why my efforts to connect were falling flat.
With the help of my sister, I finally realized that trying to empathize with my campers instead of trying to make them feel happy all the time allowed me to connect with them on a deeper level. I was able to do this by thinking about my own summer camp experiences, and trying to remember how it felt to miss my mom or struggle during a certain activity.
Dealing with our own feelings鈥攁nd other people鈥檚 feelings鈥攊s complicated and sometimes doesn鈥檛 make any sense. By approaching my campers, my friends, and my family members with empathy and a goal to try to relate to them, I am doing my best to create stronger relationships.
Where this writer could go from here:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world? Do they need to add more?
Right now, this writer is painting with very broad strokes, and we鈥檇 encourage her to add more detail! To bring us into her experience, this writer might try 鈥渟howing鈥 rather than 鈥渢elling,鈥 particularly at the beginning of the essay. What types of details could 鈥渟how鈥 us how she handles different situations as a camp counselor? For example, 鈥淏etween lost shoes, runny noses, and separation anxiety, I felt like I could handle anything that came my way鈥 might evolve into:
鈥淢iss, do you have a tissue?鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 hungry!鈥
鈥淚 can鈥檛 find my shoe鈥︹
There were two packs of tissues in my back pocket, and I handed one to Julian. I reassured Anna that snack time was in ten minutes. And I had seen Michelle鈥檚 shoe somewhere鈥es! There it was, tucked behind the plant.
Michelle stuck her shoe on and ran off; Anna begrudgingly joined a group playing hide and seek. But Julian kept crying. I sat down next to him and asked him if he was okay. He told me he missed his mom.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 okay,鈥 I said. 鈥淚 remember missing my mom at summer camp, too.鈥
Julian cried for a few more minutes and blew his nose. I asked him if he wanted a drink of water. He shook his head…
Where did this writer reflect on her experience or reveal her thoughts?
Although this writer reflects briefly at the end of the essay, notice that it doesn鈥檛 feel earned yet because we haven鈥檛 yet learned how she ultimately arrived there. How exactly did she practice and build empathy? How and why has her experience as a summer camp counselor changed the way that she approaches other relationships? If she could lean into specific experiences as well as her own thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities, she鈥檇 be on her way to a significantly stronger piece.
Common App Essay Example #10
For my seventh birthday, my parents got me a chia pet. (I had been asking for a dog, but no such luck.) The chia pet came in a cute gray pot that looked like a hedgehog, and once you planted the seeds and they sprouted, the grass was supposed to look like hair. My parents said if I took this responsibility seriously I could potentially get a more interesting pet (maybe not a dog, but a fish or a Venus flytrap was on the table) so seven-year-old me dove in head-first.
I planted the seeds, set the pot on my windowsill, and spritzed it dutifully with a small spray bottle daily. If you鈥檝e ever grown chia seeds, you know that they sprout like crazy. Before I knew it, my chia pet needed a haircut every other day, and my parents were instantly regretting their promise to upgrade my pet roster.
But now, I didn鈥檛 want a fish or a dog. I wanted more plants. Soon enough, my windowsill was covered with plants, and I鈥檝e spent the past ten years growing my collection even larger. I鈥檝e taken my efforts outside, too, redoing my family鈥檚 garden and teaching my friends and family about how to choose plants for their yards.
My seven-year-old self merely wanted a pet to take care of, and had no idea that my first chia pet would lead me to where it has today. I still remember the excitement I felt about the possibility of expanding my collection, an excitement that I continue to feel as I learn about plants. In college, I want to major in horticulture, with an emphasis on sustainable spaces. I鈥檝e found that a lot of people want to make changes to their space and be more sustainable, but they鈥檙e not sure how to do that. If I could be the one who teaches them how, I鈥檇 absolutely love it.
Where this writer could go from here:
Which details immerse you in the writer鈥檚 world? Do they need to add more?
This writer starts off very strong, with a humorous and very specific anecdote about his very first plant. To continue bringing readers into his story and help them connect with who he is now, he鈥檒l want to continue incorporating that same level of detail throughout the essay. At the moment, a whole ten-year period of his life is summarized rather quickly. Providing specific examples that help us understand how his journey unfolded over time would be a powerful addition.
Where did he reflect on his experience or reveal his thoughts?
Writing about formative childhood memories in college essays is completely fine as long as approximately half the essay鈥攁nd the reflection in particular鈥攃enters on who you are now and how you鈥檝e grown. Notice that his current reflection focuses heavily on what he was thinking and feeling as a seven-year-old. Instead, he鈥檒l want to lean into the excitement that he currently feels. Why is his plant collection so meaningful to him, and what about horticulture continues to interest and excite him? Are there particular topics that he鈥檚 passionate about or has had the opportunity to explore further? How does he know that he wants to work with people to create sustainable spaces?
Note: if this student鈥檚 love of plants had stayed firmly rooted in the past (i.e., the love of plants hadn鈥檛 progressed past age seven and had no bearing on current interests), we would have advised against this essay topic.
Final Thoughts – Common App Essay Examples
The college personal statement is an important part of the application that can reveal more about who you are and what you鈥檒l bring to a college campus. Studying the genre is an essential part of being well-prepared to do your best writing, an exercise that includes understanding the essay鈥檚 purpose as well as its essential elements. When used appropriately, Common App essay examples can be an insightful addition to any writing process. Relax, be yourself, and know that admissions officers are eager to get to know you鈥搕he real, multidimensional, interesting person鈥揵ehind the application.